Fuck No Homestuck Porn
god damn youre annoying
Anonymous

okay

There’s a lot of things to be said about this gif, but I think my favorite thing is that Hussie’s penis just appears halfway through and then disappears like two frames later. I missed it the first couple hundred times I watched this gif.

There’s a lot of things to be said about this gif, but I think my favorite thing is that Hussie’s penis just appears halfway through and then disappears like two frames later. I missed it the first couple hundred times I watched this gif.

Quick Karkat and Eridon and John and Dave, two separate pictures.

THIS IS NOT A REQUEST BLOG

WHAT AT ALL IN THE TITLE MAKES YOU THINK THIS IS A REQUEST BLOG

THIS IS FOR TEARING DOWN TERRIBLE HOMESTUCK PORN NOT SUPPLYING YOU WITH IT

also eridon

After being here for a while I feel obligated to just mention that my knees are always really red for no good reason, so it's not like it's not possssible to be a thing for those troll blushing knees, though admittedly most probably wouldn't have flushed knees.
Anonymous

Look, if you have a style, and you’re consistent, and you personally are happy in your style, then more power to you! I personally don’t like blushing knees - they always throw me out of the picture, and I recognize that it’s too a point where I notice blushing knees first, and it can color my opinions somewhat before I truly take in the full image.

HOWEVER, the person that I usually harp on with the blushing knees does it in a way that is not only ugly, it makes no sense. Like, if you have a fully colored or shaded drawing and the knees get a pinkish or whateverish tint, then fine. I personally notice it because due to terrible uses of the trope, I notice it first, but besides that, it really isn’t a big deal. But when you have a monochrome picture where you’re gonna add splotches of color to show blushing and stuff - WHY IN THE HOLY NAME OF HELL WOULD YOU CHOOSE THE KNEES?!? Especially since the particular artist I harp on does this at multiple seemingly random spots on the body, which turns all their characters into splotchy messes.

Like, Shelly does that thing where she colors in noses and does all her noses a certain way. I personally don’t really like it, but it is a recognizable and consistent part of her style, and it works with her pieces as a whole. While the noses might stand out a bit to me, they make a certain amount of sense in the style of the whole picture. But blushing knees often don’t. That doesn’t mean that can’t work in that context (though I still think the whole thing is kinda dumb), but I usually don’t see that.

There’s actually nothing wrong with this picture from a structural standpoint (I mean her right hand is kind of wonky, and that ridge right above her nose is supposed to make her nose look scrunched but it just looks weird) - okay, nothing bad enough to get featured on this blog, but…
Well, it’s been awhile, and I miss you guys, so have Nepeta being fucked by a cookie. Complete with cookie testicles.

There’s actually nothing wrong with this picture from a structural standpoint (I mean her right hand is kind of wonky, and that ridge right above her nose is supposed to make her nose look scrunched but it just looks weird) - okay, nothing bad enough to get featured on this blog, but…

Well, it’s been awhile, and I miss you guys, so have Nepeta being fucked by a cookie. Complete with cookie testicles.

I can understand why you don't like the 'Knee Blush' I don't either. But Knees do get red when you've sat on them for awhile. (Doesn't make sense in most of the pictures on this blog thus far, though.)
Anonymous

Oh, I’m not denying that knees have blood vessels on them, and you’re right, it’s possible for those blood vessels to get inflamed, but I have never in all of my personal life experience or porn-watching experience seen knees turn red as a sign of embarrassment or sexual arousal.

Now, I’ll be honest, when I’m with someone who is indicating signs of sexual arousal I’m usually NOT looking at their knees, but…

younger-than-the-soul:

fucknohomestuckporn:

I didn’t know that in the post-apocalyptic future, McDonalds are still around, and the current fashion trend is to take french fries and super glue them to your head.

Uh yeah those are dreads that are spiked up and how is that difficult to understand?
Also you can at least source the art if you’re going to trash it.

I do that because I realise some people just make porn for fun, and don’t need some dick waving their opinions in their face. Moreover, I am aware that my commentary falls more in the category of trashing than constructive criticism - I again don’t feel the need to push my negative thoughts in their face. Also I get a lot of this from paheal which doesn’t usually source.

younger-than-the-soul:

fucknohomestuckporn:

I didn’t know that in the post-apocalyptic future, McDonalds are still around, and the current fashion trend is to take french fries and super glue them to your head.

Uh yeah those are dreads that are spiked up and how is that difficult to understand?

Also you can at least source the art if you’re going to trash it.

I do that because I realise some people just make porn for fun, and don’t need some dick waving their opinions in their face. Moreover, I am aware that my commentary falls more in the category of trashing than constructive criticism - I again don’t feel the need to push my negative thoughts in their face. Also I get a lot of this from paheal which doesn’t usually source.

I think your blog is really awesome, and you've got a lotta really funny shit to say. I just don't understand what your hangup is with blushing knees. I promise I'm not trying to be an asshole, I'm really curious.
Anonymous

Firstly, because knees don’t blush. They are basically bone, and not a center for blood supply to rush in and flush things. They can get shiny, but blushing knees is something I have never seen in real life. Shiny knees? Yeah. Sunburnt knees? Oh yeah. Blushing? No.

But just blushing knees in an otherwise fine pic is okay with me - a pet peeve of mine, but one I can ignore. It’s when a pic has no shading whatsoever, or worse the characters are that blank white and the only colour used is in the blush, so it looks like the most bizarre heatmap of a body ever - with all the heat being concentrated in the genitals (of course), the cheeks (yeah i’ll buy that), and the… knees and elbows?

I just don’t get it.

maybe you should like, message the artists if you want to criticize their work instead of posting it without a source on your blog and being rude about it
Anonymous

The reason why I don’t reblog from artists or link to them is the same reason that most fuckno-whatever blogs go to some minor lengths to make it a little difficult to go back to the original source - because people are dicks, and there’s a huge difference in taking something apart for the general amusement of all, and going up to someone and yelling in their face how awful they are, causing a band of internet people to also go and tell that person how awful they are.

I’m aware that what I’m doing falls more under “taking the piss out of” than “constructive criticism”, so I don’t push it in the artists face. This is a blog for people who enjoy making fun of stuff that is shit.

Even though they've only done a few commissions for homestuck, what do you think of Sticky-Mon? I personally think that it's super stylized with hyperbolic proportions and poses, which add a certain charm to the artwork.

Their only Homestuck stuff I could find was from 2011, and I honestly can’t say I’m a huge fan of that stuff - I think it’s mostly the lack of noses, it just gives the face a really weird proportion and kind of freaks me out. Browsing their blog, tho, their recent stuff is quite good, mastery of all the basic elements of drawing, coloring, shading, etc are shown, good anatomy (for drawn porn, at least), stuff like that.

lmfao sometimes you take joke porn seriously such as those sprite edits and its really funny to see you freak out, but the one problem i have is not all homestuck troll porn need tentabulges because people have different headcanons and if someone draws trolls with dicks and vaginas, that shouldnt be a problem. when you complain about it, you seem desperate to pick on someone.
Anonymous

I have no recollection of ever complaining that something DIDN’T have tentabulges.

I don’t think that anyone has EVER started whining about a LACK of tentabulges.

EVER.

Can I just say you have all my respect for this blog. Because holy shit some shit is just BEGGING to be bashed and you do a wonderful job at it.
Anonymous

also, on that last one, one of Kanaya's horns is poking out the top of her skull, dead in the center. Trollicorn. Unitroll?
Anonymous

I like Trollicorn.

I didn’t know that in the post-apocalyptic future, McDonalds are still around, and the current fashion trend is to take french fries and super glue them to your head.

I didn’t know that in the post-apocalyptic future, McDonalds are still around, and the current fashion trend is to take french fries and super glue them to your head.

I actually like this blog, it makes me laugh because of the majority shit porn. You can be a little harsh, but you are entitled to your opinion.

Thank you for the kind words, and especially thank you for saying that my level of harshness is mine to choose, and not all getting up in mah grill about it!