Fuck No Homestuck Porn
I’d say I’m not sure if the artist have ever seen a vagina before, but I think the more pressing issue is that I don’t think they’ve seen a tongue before and that’s really worrying.

I’d say I’m not sure if the artist have ever seen a vagina before, but I think the more pressing issue is that I don’t think they’ve seen a tongue before and that’s really worrying.

Y’all Wanna Help Me Find Some Terrible Porn?

Hey everyone. So, as regular followers are aware, there was a long gap between updates there. And to be honest, while I enjoy running this blog, it takes a bit of time, especially to find the bad homestuck porn, which is sometimes harder than you would think. And then you keep running into good homestuck porn on the way, and end up getting… distracted…

So, I’ve decided to see if anyone wants to help moderate this blog with me. It’s something that’s been suggested before, and I’m totally down with the idea, it just took me this long to implement it.

So here’s how it works:

Find a piece of bad homestuck pornography that hasn’t been featured on this blog yet, and write up an amusing caption. This blog is half bad porn and half humorous ripping apart of said bad porn, so I also wanna see what your snark and writing skills are like. Submit that in the submit box, and I’ll post them up for all to see and chortle at.

After about a week or so, I’ll choose my three favorites (if there even are that many submissions), and those people will be asked to join the blog! Time commitment will be low - I hope to get 1 post a day, but even 3-4 posts a week is also good. So, if you got the time and will to find 1-2 pieces of terrible Homestuck porn a week, you’re welcome aboard!

Again, the submit box is here.

Thanks!

this kinda thing always makes me wonder if these blogs are run automatedly or if all these porn blogs legitimately like seeing this terrible terrible porn

this kinda thing always makes me wonder if these blogs are run automatedly or if all these porn blogs legitimately like seeing this terrible terrible porn

Just look at the hands. Just…. look at the hands. Especially Vriska’s arm. That’s just… not…
Vriska’s arm is fucking broken. And Aradia’s got something funky going on there as well. And for some reason her left knee is HUGE in comparison to her right.
But seriously this is a goddamn horrorterror-esque tangle of limbs and dismay.

Just look at the hands. Just…. look at the hands. Especially Vriska’s arm. That’s just… not…

Vriska’s arm is fucking broken. And Aradia’s got something funky going on there as well. And for some reason her left knee is HUGE in comparison to her right.

But seriously this is a goddamn horrorterror-esque tangle of limbs and dismay.

You guys do know that MSPaintAdventures is just the name, right? It’s not a requirement for fan art. Also, dem random green dots that i can’t even tell if they’re random shoulder freckles or some of the worst drawn blushes i’ve ever seen in homestuck porn and that’s fucking saying something.

You guys do know that MSPaintAdventures is just the name, right? It’s not a requirement for fan art. Also, dem random green dots that i can’t even tell if they’re random shoulder freckles or some of the worst drawn blushes i’ve ever seen in homestuck porn and that’s fucking saying something.

man i love it when someone takes someone else’s decent porn and then scribbles in a thick black sharpie all over it, and then fills in the white space with left over slime from 1990’s Nickleodeon

man i love it when someone takes someone else’s decent porn and then scribbles in a thick black sharpie all over it, and then fills in the white space with left over slime from 1990’s Nickleodeon

pornventure:

practicing drawing actual sex wow
i still can’t get kanaya’s face to look quite right and it’s bugging m e

This week on Constructive Criticism Instead Of Just Shitting On Something…
The problems you’re getting with her face are ones of proportions. None of the proportions are quite perfect - her right eye is too big for her left eye, and slightly too far to the side, here eyes in general don’t match mouth size, and the nose is way too small, even if you;’re going for a petite nose. Also, her right side of her face has too much to it.
I get you were going for her right side of her face to be a bit bigger since it was facing the audience, but heads are so small and the distance of the “camera” is large enough that there shouldn’t really be any foreshortening.
Not to say this is bad - it’s quite good, and I hope you keep working on it. Faces are hella tricky, especially at angles, and it takes a lot of practice to represent them at interesting angles without them either being flat or Picasso-esque. Also, minor nitpick for the person with the penis apparently not having a head, or having the world’s smallest head for it to be covered by Kan’s shoulders and thing neck.

pornventure:

practicing drawing actual sex wow

i still can’t get kanaya’s face to look quite right and it’s bugging m e

This week on Constructive Criticism Instead Of Just Shitting On Something…

The problems you’re getting with her face are ones of proportions. None of the proportions are quite perfect - her right eye is too big for her left eye, and slightly too far to the side, here eyes in general don’t match mouth size, and the nose is way too small, even if you;’re going for a petite nose. Also, her right side of her face has too much to it.

I get you were going for her right side of her face to be a bit bigger since it was facing the audience, but heads are so small and the distance of the “camera” is large enough that there shouldn’t really be any foreshortening.

Not to say this is bad - it’s quite good, and I hope you keep working on it. Faces are hella tricky, especially at angles, and it takes a lot of practice to represent them at interesting angles without them either being flat or Picasso-esque. Also, minor nitpick for the person with the penis apparently not having a head, or having the world’s smallest head for it to be covered by Kan’s shoulders and thing neck.

So, firstly, you got this awful felt pen coloring going on - like look at that… bed??? thing??? and how the artist got lazy and just started squiggle filling. Then there’s that look of pain and sorrow when it’s probably supposed to be arousal. Those awful bead??? pearl??? things that look pasted on. That phallus that isn’t quite penis and isn’t quite tentacle and just looks awful either way. And THE INDEX FINGER ON ERIDAN’S RIGHT HAND. IT’S SO FUCKING GROTESQUELY LONG IT LOOKS LIKE AN OFFSHOT OF THE TENTABULGE MONSTROSITY. AND IT TOOK ME AGES TO FIGURE OUT THAT THAT WAS A FINGERNAIL AND NOT A FUCKING FLAME AT THE END OF HIS FINGER FOR NO GODDAMN REASON.

So, firstly, you got this awful felt pen coloring going on - like look at that… bed??? thing??? and how the artist got lazy and just started squiggle filling. Then there’s that look of pain and sorrow when it’s probably supposed to be arousal. Those awful bead??? pearl??? things that look pasted on. That phallus that isn’t quite penis and isn’t quite tentacle and just looks awful either way. And THE INDEX FINGER ON ERIDAN’S RIGHT HAND. IT’S SO FUCKING GROTESQUELY LONG IT LOOKS LIKE AN OFFSHOT OF THE TENTABULGE MONSTROSITY. AND IT TOOK ME AGES TO FIGURE OUT THAT THAT WAS A FINGERNAIL AND NOT A FUCKING FLAME AT THE END OF HIS FINGER FOR NO GODDAMN REASON.

Today’s contestants on Guess That Trace are…

Today’s contestants on Guess That Trace are…

Oh man I love the AU where Karkat is a tiny dwarf creature with horns that are strangely much more detailed than anybody else and Nepeta’s gloves are just some fucking splotches that don’t even cover most of the hand and also Nepeta’s vagina is radioactive

Oh man I love the AU where Karkat is a tiny dwarf creature with horns that are strangely much more detailed than anybody else and Nepeta’s gloves are just some fucking splotches that don’t even cover most of the hand and also Nepeta’s vagina is radioactive

wait why the hell was this on fuckyeahbadhomestuckporn this is utterly fantastic
(it might not animate on dash but dear god is it worth it do the clicky thing to see it on the blog)

wait why the hell was this on fuckyeahbadhomestuckporn this is utterly fantastic

(it might not animate on dash but dear god is it worth it do the clicky thing to see it on the blog)

I can’t… I don’t even no where to begin. So, all the anatomy lines on their chests are these awful fucking paintbrush tool squiggles, but there faces are done in a much smaller brush or the pencil tool, so it looks like someone drew awful faces and then shooped them onto someone else’s also tragically awful bodies. The hair work is… decent, I guess, but the squiggling all over a black fill clashes against the completely unecessary white glow stroke, the faces are awful, the horns only have two colors, and did I mention that the faces are awful? Also the ears. The ears suck.
Literally the only good thing about this picture is that the artist’s contact info font color blends right in with the damn solid background color, making it difficult to seek out more of their work. I guess that’s something.

I can’t… I don’t even no where to begin. So, all the anatomy lines on their chests are these awful fucking paintbrush tool squiggles, but there faces are done in a much smaller brush or the pencil tool, so it looks like someone drew awful faces and then shooped them onto someone else’s also tragically awful bodies. The hair work is… decent, I guess, but the squiggling all over a black fill clashes against the completely unecessary white glow stroke, the faces are awful, the horns only have two colors, and did I mention that the faces are awful? Also the ears. The ears suck.

Literally the only good thing about this picture is that the artist’s contact info font color blends right in with the damn solid background color, making it difficult to seek out more of their work. I guess that’s something.

"I bet you’re all wondering why I called you here today. This is the plan: We’re going to take a decent if uninspired idea for a Homestuck porn picture, and add in some basic knowledge of how to draw a face. Then we’re going to throw in really amateur shading work that could look okay at a distance, and then zoom in way too fucking close. We’ll seal the deal with a big slightly curved orange fleshy thing with a couple nifty action lines tossed on there in place of a penis. Then we’ll cap the whole thing off with the most unbelievably shitty necklace you’ve ever seen.
"I know we can do this, gentlefolk. We have the will, we have the uninspired inspiration, and we have the lack of well-rounded art skills. TO VICTORY!"

"I bet you’re all wondering why I called you here today. This is the plan: We’re going to take a decent if uninspired idea for a Homestuck porn picture, and add in some basic knowledge of how to draw a face. Then we’re going to throw in really amateur shading work that could look okay at a distance, and then zoom in way too fucking close. We’ll seal the deal with a big slightly curved orange fleshy thing with a couple nifty action lines tossed on there in place of a penis. Then we’ll cap the whole thing off with the most unbelievably shitty necklace you’ve ever seen.

"I know we can do this, gentlefolk. We have the will, we have the uninspired inspiration, and we have the lack of well-rounded art skills. TO VICTORY!"

Pictured here is Rose, singing praises to the sun after a successful medical procedure to remove her legs and replace them with ones made of play-dough and terrible foreshortening, and slightly move her vagina over a couple inches onto her right leg. Meanwhile, Terezi is now taking over for the Grim Reaper’s job since they’re on holiday right now. However, everytime she takes a soul she loses some flesh and gets more skeletal, so this time she’s keeping a hand on her boob to see if it noticeably gets smaller after she reaps Rose.
Well either that, or some fantastically awful bondage porn by someone who has no practical idea what bondage actually entails, and thinks anatomy is what you call something that has a lot of atoms.

Pictured here is Rose, singing praises to the sun after a successful medical procedure to remove her legs and replace them with ones made of play-dough and terrible foreshortening, and slightly move her vagina over a couple inches onto her right leg. Meanwhile, Terezi is now taking over for the Grim Reaper’s job since they’re on holiday right now. However, everytime she takes a soul she loses some flesh and gets more skeletal, so this time she’s keeping a hand on her boob to see if it noticeably gets smaller after she reaps Rose.

Well either that, or some fantastically awful bondage porn by someone who has no practical idea what bondage actually entails, and thinks anatomy is what you call something that has a lot of atoms.

I was going to make fun of the fact that there’s a fucking bucket blocking what is probably awfully drawn genitals or just a big blank space because the “artist” only knows how to trace shitty porn and not actually do anything not creatively bankrupt.
But then I realized that this looks familiar, and I think this is a trace of one of those Frank Miller Superman comics where he and Wonder Woman bang in Space. I think there were multiples of these.
So now I’m just conflicted on whether this is terrible or wonderful.
But then I look at the dialogue and it takes all my willpower to not throw my router into the sun, so I never have to read this shit again.

I was going to make fun of the fact that there’s a fucking bucket blocking what is probably awfully drawn genitals or just a big blank space because the “artist” only knows how to trace shitty porn and not actually do anything not creatively bankrupt.

But then I realized that this looks familiar, and I think this is a trace of one of those Frank Miller Superman comics where he and Wonder Woman bang in Space. I think there were multiples of these.

So now I’m just conflicted on whether this is terrible or wonderful.

But then I look at the dialogue and it takes all my willpower to not throw my router into the sun, so I never have to read this shit again.