Fuck No Homestuck Porn

younger-than-the-soul: fucknohomestuckporn: I didn’t know that...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 17:39:26 -0800

fucknohomestuckporn:

I didn’t know that in the post-apocalyptic future, McDonalds are still around, and the current fashion trend is to take french fries and super glue them to your head.

Uh yeah those are dreads that are spiked up and how is that difficult to understand?

Also you can at least source the art if you’re going to trash it.

I do that because I realise some people just make porn for fun, and don’t need some dick waving their opinions in their face. Moreover, I am aware that my commentary falls more in the category of trashing than constructive criticism - I again don’t feel the need to push my negative thoughts in their face. Also I get a lot of this from paheal which doesn’t usually source.

I think your blog is really awesome, and you've got a lotta really funny shit to say. I just don't understand what your hangup is with blushing knees. I promise I'm not trying to be an asshole, I'm really curious.

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:03:07 -0800

Firstly, because knees don’t blush. They are basically bone, and not a center for blood supply to rush in and flush things. They can get shiny, but blushing knees is something I have never seen in real life. Shiny knees? Yeah. Sunburnt knees? Oh yeah. Blushing? No.

But just blushing knees in an otherwise fine pic is okay with me - a pet peeve of mine, but one I can ignore. It’s when a pic has no shading whatsoever, or worse the characters are that blank white and the only colour used is in the blush, so it looks like the most bizarre heatmap of a body ever - with all the heat being concentrated in the genitals (of course), the cheeks (yeah i’ll buy that), and the… knees and elbows?

I just don’t get it.

maybe you should like, message the artists if you want to criticize their work instead of posting it without a source on your blog and being rude about it

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 13:01:00 -0800

The reason why I don’t reblog from artists or link to them is the same reason that most fuckno-whatever blogs go to some minor lengths to make it a little difficult to go back to the original source - because people are dicks, and there’s a huge difference in taking something apart for the general amusement of all, and going up to someone and yelling in their face how awful they are, causing a band of internet people to also go and tell that person how awful they are.

I’m aware that what I’m doing falls more under “taking the piss out of” than “constructive criticism”, so I don’t push it in the artists face. This is a blog for people who enjoy making fun of stuff that is shit.

Even though they've only done a few commissions for homestuck, what do you think of Sticky-Mon? I personally think that it's super stylized with hyperbolic proportions and poses, which add a certain charm to the artwork.

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 12:03:11 -0800

Their only Homestuck stuff I could find was from 2011, and I honestly can’t say I’m a huge fan of that stuff - I think it’s mostly the lack of noses, it just gives the face a really weird proportion and kind of freaks me out. Browsing their blog, tho, their recent stuff is quite good, mastery of all the basic elements of drawing, coloring, shading, etc are shown, good anatomy (for drawn porn, at least), stuff like that.

lmfao sometimes you take joke porn seriously such as those sprite edits and its really funny to see you freak out, but the one problem i have is not all homestuck troll porn need tentabulges because people have different headcanons and if someone draws trolls with dicks and vaginas, that shouldnt be a problem. when you complain about it, you seem desperate to pick on someone.

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 12:03:00 -0800

I have no recollection of ever complaining that something DIDN’T have tentabulges.

I don’t think that anyone has EVER started whining about a LACK of tentabulges.

EVER.

Can I just say you have all my respect for this blog. Because holy shit some shit is just BEGGING to be bashed and you do a wonderful job at it.

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 12:03:01 -0800

also, on that last one, one of Kanaya's horns is poking out the top of her skull, dead in the center. Trollicorn. Unitroll?

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 12:03:05 -0800

I like Trollicorn.

I didn’t know that in the post-apocalyptic future,...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 08:52:00 -0800

I didn’t know that in the post-apocalyptic future, McDonalds are still around, and the current fashion trend is to take french fries and super glue them to your head.

I actually like this blog, it makes me laugh because of the majority shit porn. You can be a little harsh, but you are entitled to your opinion.

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 12:02:52 -0800

Thank you for the kind words, and especially thank you for saying that my level of harshness is mine to choose, and not all getting up in mah grill about it!

H33h33... Karkat x Nepeta?

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 12:02:57 -0800

THIS IS NOT A REQUEST BLOG. THIS IS FOR MAKING FUN OF BAD PORN AS I COME ACROSS IT. I WOULD THINK THE URL WOULD HAVE MADE THAT CLEAR.

really had to crack open a thesaurus there, didn't ya, junior?

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 12:03:09 -0800

I have no idea which one of my posts this was directed towards, but my only thesaurus is a shitty little pocket one (i.e. functionally useless for most people with above high school education) that is somewhere in the bowels of my room, if I still have it at all.

In fact, the only type of dictionary I use regularly is a rhyming dictionary, for when I’m writing raps about how much Nepeta wants to have sex with Karkat, or Jade sticking her doggy dick in Rose.

what do you think of nsfwpoontang?

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:02:47 -0800

Their stuff seems to be mostly quick sketches, and they’re fine, for that sort of thing. Their coloured stuff is also similarly simple - not in a bad way, just kind of “Okay here’s the dick going into a thing here are the people” and the lines are clean and you can tell who is who and what’s going on.

I would be interested to see what they would make if they put a lot of time into a single piece, but I do get that it’s just homestuck porn and not everyone wants to make it look like ART.

I don't have a question, but I do want to say that I really do love this blog. You're a really smart, opinionated Homestuck fan who's also a really cool dude.

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 12:02:47 -0800

Why thank you very much!

it would probably be better for the artists if you werent so harsh on their drawings some people are trying to get better not everyone is automatically great at anatomy, shading, coloring.. yes i can understand what youre saying and where you are coming from. maybe you arent trying to be helpful and youre just bashing the art. some people have styles that arent necessarily realistic but they arent always trying to be anatomically correct. yeah i know the world is harsh but not everyone has to be

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 12:02:48 -0800

Not everyone has to be, but often in online communities I find that translated as “so NO ONE can be!” I know that’s not what you were trying to say, and I respect where you’re coming from, but the way I see it, when people are making art in a large community, there should be at least one person who WILL be harsh.

And that person is obviously me. I mean, I was born with a birthmark in the shape of this url, so this is obviously my destiny.

Have you ever considered taking up another mod?

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 12:02:38 -0800

It’s something I’d never considered until this ask, but it is something I’m ruminating upon now. I am aware that this blog has kind of fallen by the wayside, while awful homestuck porn has continued to pile up. I’ve got an idea for a fun little “auditioning” process, and how duties would be split - look for that possibly coming within the next week.

I just realized that the shitty davesprite pic... i think that the hole is his sword wound. of course that just raises more questions...

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 12:02:32 -0800

The question I keep coming back to is “Why?”

what's porn?

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 08:58:48 -0800

This should explain everything.

Two pieces of shitty ARquius X Dirk porn.

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 08:31:00 -0800

http://buckets-and-cum.tumblr.com/image/39107267694

http://buckets-and-cum.tumblr.com/image/39107252791

Dem blushy knees…

[I actually think the second one is pretty alright - yeah yeah blushy knees, but it has good linework and the cross hatching method for the blush is interesting - that first one is fucking AWFUL, tho.]

Dem fail horns. Dem cherub-esque awful squiggly blush marks. Dat...

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 08:28:00 -0800

Dem fail horns.

Dem cherub-esque awful squiggly blush marks.

Dat awful jagged hair.

Dem horribly drawn penises.

Dat penis with THREE BALLS.

I know this is supposed to be Dirk that Jake’s with, but...

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 11:02:27 -0900

I know this is supposed to be Dirk that Jake’s with, but I’m just forcibly reminded of Vault Boy: